23 January, 2013

Brrrr.

Well, it had to happen. Global warming has kicked in and it is finally cold in DC. Is it colder than normal? No. But everyone forgets that it should be cold from December to February so the moment the temp drops below 40 degrees, everyone freaks out and throws a tantrum --Me included.
This morning I was complaining that I didn't have enough covers on the bed and when the alarm went off, I set it for 30 minutes later and jumped back under the warm covers. This time of year I think about renting a dog to sleep in the bed with me to keep it a little warmer. That would make three of us in there and I am sure that would be too many.

So if it is cold in your neighbourhood, I am sorry. Welcome to winter. Be glad your house doesn't look like this.
Stay warm, make yourself a nice cup of tea and pour a healthy dollop of Jamison in there. Trust me, it helps.


09 January, 2013

Another Brilliant Idea

You all know how I get a bug in my bonnet about problems in the world and how I can fix them. Here is another pair of situations that I think we could combine and eliminate.

You know how we have this giant financial crisis? The Govt. needs to cut spending as well as raise tax income otherwise some mysterious thing will occur that will spell out the end of the world as far as the news media is concerned.
You are also aware of the current problem with nut-jobs going into public places and blowing holes in a bunch of innocent people just because their mommy didn't hug them enough. I won't add pictures because you all know what I am talking about.

I have a plan to bring us back from the brink of extinction, stop nutters from shooting up our schools, and vastly improve the public education system here in 'Merica.

All we need to do is pull our troops out of the countries and wars that are not our business and only serve to piss off the international community because 'Merica pokes it's nose in where it doesn't belong. We bring them ALL back home, and put them on duty in the school system as teachers and tutors.
I am certain that no one would be pulling C's or D's in English if Gunnery Sergeant Ermey was telling students the rules.
"Listen up maggots! It's I before E, except after C! And when I say otherwise! Now drop and give me twenty before I rip your head off and poop down your neckhole!"
Not only would kids not come out of school with no idea how to read or add, they would understand how the real world works and there would be no such thing as child obesity.  Along with super-fit kids that understand the world isn't all hearts and flowers and handed to you on a plate, I dare anyone that isn't driving a tank to attempt an assault on a school full of marines.


Be honest, which one of these guys would you feel safer leaving your kids with?
Just guessing here, but I am thinking I would rather my kids learned math from a guy that had to calculate how far away some insurgents were and the best way to get a howitzer round to hit them than Mr. Wimple who used to work for the IRS. Nothing against the IRS or any other accountants. 

This new plan of mine does a lot of things. It cuts the number of troops we have overseas getting shot at. It protects our kids from nutters that prey on the innocent. It eliminates the child obesity crisis and would give us the greatest generation to come along since ever.
All our kids would respect their elders, understand the value of hard work, be as smart as anything and they would all look like this.

Problem solved. Next up, we get rid of the bullshit gridlock in congress. Look out congress, I am coming for you next!